I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize