I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize