So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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