If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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