your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
