That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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