At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
