Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
