SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
