Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize