Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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