Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
