Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
