Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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