sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
