3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
