I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
