I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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