I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
