so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
