connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize