11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
