hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
