His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
