Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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