I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
