so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
And then he peed in my hair
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