We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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