so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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