The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
