that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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