My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
