Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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