At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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