That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
