She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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