i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
