Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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