Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
