At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
