yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
