I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize