yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
