By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
