I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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