Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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