You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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