Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You are the jesus of drinking
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