Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
how does that bad decision feel?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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