his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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