I smell stomach acid.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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