So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
