So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Ladies don't puke and tell
I am available for nakedness
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
