omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
