I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
now i know why i became what i already was.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
