so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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