i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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