dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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