I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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