Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
we're so committed to being not committed
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