My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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