Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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