I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
