If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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