I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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