I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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