i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
