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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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