i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
