i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
